HITLER WAS RIGHT
a right bastard that is

now that i’ve got your attention fuck pink floyd. fuck fucking pink floyd. fuck fucking pink floyd all the fucking way home. and yes, I do realise this isn’t 1976 and i’m not jonny rotton – thank christ - but after having to endure two full length solo albums by roger waters and dave gilmour in the car with my dad - for whom the proggy twatcunts are something of a holy cow - with no means of escape it just feels so good to type those three words: fuck. pink. floyd.

another thing I had to endure recently was my cousin’s wedding, which – despite the constant stream of free booze which was of course very much agreeable (when you finished a pint you could just go up to the bar and get a refill! for free!) - was dull as fuck until someone gashed their leg open trying to jump over an ornamental pond which was of course hilarious.

before that, though, i was vaguely watching the early dancers all up on the marquee floor when something dawned on me: men are not meant to dance. they are actually not. with the exception of john travolta, napoleon dynamite and black people, if you have a penis and a scrotum it should not be in your nature to attempt to boogie on down because, even if you're clearly trying to hide your embarresment by dancing overtly ironically, you will always look like a fucking idiot. the females of the species, on the other hand, often largely seem to have a propensity to effortlessly move rhythmically with finesse and look fucking sexy with it, often irrespective of their attractiveness. so, while all these twenty-eight-year-old marketing execs were strutting their stuff while not inebriated enough to have an excuse their jee effs and wives shimmied around mostly looking fucking fine.

i have a theory as to why this is. you see, in this day and age of emasculation and equality (which - when ladies work out how to fertilise their own eggs - will ultimately render men completely irrelevant) women don't really like to think of themselves as objectified, but traditionally women have been seen as sperm receptacles, ovens for carrying a man's child and thereby, to prevent themselves from not serving this purpose and becoming useless, they developed certain traits in order to allure the man into choosing them for to carry his offspring. men, on the other hand, only used to need to kill a bufallo or whatever in order to attract their woman and thereby unfortunately did not develop the intuitive ability to dance. true story.

anyway, on the note of sexy bitches and gawky inadequate looking men here's a track by handsome furs that you've probably already got if you're cool:

handsome furs - dead + rural (from plague park)



buy it